Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
