True but thats because hes a fetus.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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