Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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