That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
