I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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