I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
