dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
