Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The Olympian is in my bed
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
