I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
