you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
