sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
