We're like a lot better than the average bears
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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