dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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