can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She's the barista slut.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
