I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
