At least make sure they are 18
Why
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
