I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
