Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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