My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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