Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
