okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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