just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
