Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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