if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Terrible idea I love it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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