I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
