I think I died a long time ago.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
