It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
