accomplished twins. life is a go
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
