I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
