I wanna passion pit in your ass
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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