i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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