i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
