At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
my god I love twenty year old dicks
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
