Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How external is "for external use only"?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
