i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
