So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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