that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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