are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
