bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
