just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
