You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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