was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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