I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
