Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
