**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
