My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
