meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
