i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
