why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
