you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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