Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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