butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
People with herpes should wear stickers.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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